I could have done this. I should have done that. We have all heard someone say this or have even said it ourselves. But there is danger in this small statement if we dwell on it too long. The danger of “Could Have” or "Should Have" is that it can easily become something we think about over and over causing us to have regrets about the decision we did or did not make. If we are constantly thinking about the same situation over and over and what we could have done differently it is equal to living in the past. Living in the past often brings us to a stopping point because it begins to hinder us from moving forward and walking in freedom that lies ahead in the future. How can you really move forward if you are constantly looking back at something? You cannot walk physically if you are constantly looking backwards and you cannot drive a car physically if you are constantly looking back. Both are dangerous. And the same is true when dwelling on “Could Haves” or "Should Haves" in our lives.
Why am I writing about this? Because I have been there. I have dwelled on them for a little too long or atleast longer than I wanted. “Could haves” and "Should haves" played over and over in my mind causing painful regrets that became hurdles to get over. I realized that no matter how hard I tried I was at a stopping point because they had me living in the past. It is not possible to live in the past and the present at the same time. You have to choose one. We have all said something or done something we wish would have been differently. You can either live in the past with that situation or choose to live in the present allowing yourself to let go of that situation and move forward.
Moving forward will only happen through forgiveness and renewing your mind daily. You have to forgive those who were involved and forgive yourself. If you are struggling to forgive yourself you have to remember that the enemy comes to condemn you and tries to hold your past over you. BUT GOD, he comes to bring freedom. Remind yourself everyday that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. If you are struggling to forgive those involved, remind yourself of the forgiveness that God extended to you through Christ Jesus. Jesus paid a high price so that we can be forgiven so let us be reminded of that high price in order to extend forgiveness to others. If we want to be forgiven we must forgive others.
As I close this blog post I want you to know that God desires for his children to be free of the past and walking in Freedom. I know how hard it can be and I know you have probably cried many tears as you replayed the situation over and over wanting it to be different. But you have to open your fist and let go of the past so that you can walk in the fullness of freedom, love, peace and joy that God has for you.
Your future is worth letting the could haves go.
Your future is worth letting the regrets go.
Your future is worth forgiving others and yourself.
Praying for you always,